Friday, June 10, 2011
All my stuff's already been moved over. You can subscribe to it as you did to this one. You can also use RSS if you know what THAT is all about. I didn't till now (thanks Caitlin!).
No need to call first, just c'mon over!
I have a new name for the blog. Here's the link to take you there: Hete Bliksem. All will be explained at my new place.
The door is open and the welcome mat is laid out.
Hope to see you soon!
April 11, 2014 - I've moved yet again! Come see me at The Widow Badass Blog. Lots has happened to me as you can imagine from the title of my new blog. I'd love to see you there. Door is still open and welcome mat is always laid out!
Friday, April 8, 2011
We arrived at the hospital just before visiting hours ended. We had been trying to pay our respects to an acquaintance who lost his brother, but the receiving line at the funeral home was so long, we left so as not to miss a visit with Auntie Hazel, who was recovering from surgery from the broken hip she suffered on Sunday. We are so thankful now that we did this.
When we entered her room and greeted the departing, exhausted immediate family members, we were shocked to see how much she had deteriorated from our visit the day before. The day before she had been so bright and lively with good colour, and was quick to demonstrate how she was able to do all of her rehabilitating exercises - moving her legs and arms, and rotating her feet. An unsettling thought went through my mind at the time: "a candle burns brightest just before going out", but I quickly pushed it away.
Yesterday a whole 'nother Auntie Hazel greeted us. She was uncomfortable and restless. I asked her repeatedly if she wanted me to get the nurse but the answer was always no. As visiting hours ended, I disobeyed her and went to the nursing station to get them to check in on her and investigate her discomfort. Then JD went back to her room to let her know a nurse was coming and away we went after kisses and proclamations of love.
A few errands later, we arrived home just as the phone was ringing - JD's dad calling to tell us the sad news that his sister had passed away. We were shocked. I was overcome with guilt - why hadn't I been more forceful, both with Auntie Hazel and the nurses. Why hadn't we risked a scolding and stayed beyond the visiting hours, to make sure she was looked after properly?
Today I researched signs of dying to see what we had possibly missed. What I learned actually gave me more comfort than I had thought it would. What we didn't realize, was that Auntie Hazel had been showing signs of dying for days already, perhaps the process had started even before she broke her hip. I think the hospital staff knew this, as she had been moved to a private room the 2nd day after her surgery (another little "uh-oh" thought that I had at the time, but also quickly pushed away).
She had no appetite, she was having trouble swallowing, she had that burst of energy and liveliness the day before...perhaps there really had been nothing we could have done. Perhaps the last natural process of each life had begun and couldn't, wouldn't be halted. I try to take comfort from that.
Auntie Hazel would have turned 88 later on this month. She was a truly great lady and an inspiration to me on how to grow old. She was an avid and talented oil painter, a long-time member of the choral group: the Sweet Adelines, a homemaker, a gifted writer, and that all-too-rare someone who really believed in AND exhibited Christian values. She really walked the talk of compassion and kindness and love. I have never met anyone more humble than she. Auntie Hazel saw the absolute best in everyone, and, in the nine years I was lucky to know her I never heard her complain about her circumstances (not always great) or speak ill of anyone she knew.
These characteristics meant that more than a few people commented negatively on her "rose-coloured glasses" approach to life. Auntie Hazel chose to focus on the cup half full rather than half empty. She chose to focus on the good bits in everyone she met, rather than the faults. She believed in the power of love and family and thus was rich in both.
A brilliant mind, Auntie Hazel had to leave her beloved school by grade eight to keep house and raise her younger siblings when her mother had to go to work. (Her brother - JD's dad - also left school and got a work permit at the tender age of 11 to keep the family going, when their alcoholic father was kicked out of the family.)
After a somewhat Dickensian childhood, she fell in love and married, and she and her husband Jack spent 11 years sleeping on a pull-out couch in their living room so her mother could have one bedroom and the kids the other in their tiny war-time home (the same home she left on her final journey to the hospital this past Sunday).
And still later she spent many years nursing her beloved "Jackie" through his final illness, learning to feed him through a tube and ensuring his comfort at all times.
These things I learned, not through any complaining on her part, but through her simple story-telling, describing her life and its "happy" memories. For she really did have so many happy memories, as that was always her focus, her choice.
I am the better person for knowing this extraordinary woman.
I try to comfort myself in thinking that Uncle Jack was waiting in her hospital room last night, waiting for all of their kids to gather to say goodbye (and they did all make it there in time, amazingly), so he could gaze on them gathered together once again, and then finally bring his Hazel home.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Mizz Lucy, before
Mizz Lucy, after
My little puppy is now 11 years old and still spry and active as ever. I hope to have her as my running coach again this summer because......
Currently on week 2 of a Couch to 5K running plan to get back into form enough to start training later this spring...Wish me luck!
Friday, February 18, 2011
But it hasn't been all that bad either. I am working away at my 2011 goals, and although I am not making progress as quickly as I would like, I am making progress.
Still aiming towards that MBA program starting next fall...however I made a major shift in the way I want to do it. Instead of attending a "bricks and mortar" school part-time in the evenings, I have decided to apply to an online MBA program. It's even more highly regarded than the bricks and mortar program, and I will be in class with other students with similar background to me in terms of managerial experience. (And I don't have to write the GMAT for this one either - WOOO HOOOOO....er...I mean, that's cool...ahem.)
Still trying to live a healthier lifestyle too, and incorporate more physical fitness into my daily life. That is proving to be quite challenging, especially since we are having such bitter temperatures this winter, and my inner diva just wants to curl up under the blankets and nap and eat carbs all day!
So I keep trying, and keep trying new stuff. My latest thing is to have my little personal DVD player set up in my office at work, so I can follow some 10 minute strength workouts during my lunch or after work before I go home. Ten minutes might not sound like much, but if you are 100% focused on the exercise it's worth much more than 20 minutes of half-a**ed lifting at the gym, while chatting to someone or watching TV.
My focus on creating and maintaining a healthier lifestyle is such that I have come up with an idea for a new blog that I hope to set up within the next couple of months. This has stopped me from more regular blogging here, funnily enough. I get an idea for something I want to write about, and then think - hey, that would be great for the new blog! So, since the new blog is just a gleam in my eye at this point, I do nothing. Hmph.
I've also been stretching myself somewhat. I did something I've never done before. I entered a recipe into a contest. I saw on the Eat -Clean Diet website (my new role model, Tosca Reno's website) a promotion for the "Good Morning Eat-Clean Diet Contest", asking for breakfast recipes. So I submitted the recipe I created for making a mixed whole grain porridge with fruit in my rice cooker. And today I found out I won!!!! By next week I will be receiving an autographed (by Tosca Reno herself!!!!) copy of her Eat-Clean Diet Cookbook. Swoon.
Me, and my Overnight Sensation Breakfast. The photo I had to submit with my recipe.
Friday, January 7, 2011
So, in choosing between looking tired or ancient.....tired wins by a landslide every time.
My hairdresser agreed I could pull the style off. The cutting began. Piles of hair cascaded to the floor of the kitchen. Then the highlighting began. Then more cutting. Then, finally...the styling.
My head felt so free and light! All my dead locks and split ends were gone, and replaced with bouncy, wavy full locks again! The styling, well....I love my hairdresser...she's cut my hair since I was pregnant with Mizz J (23 years ago)...and she's masterful at cutting, but she styles my hair in a way I can't replicate and a way that's not me to boot. Every hair artfully and lovingly subdued into a smooth, controlled style.JD's first comments: "Well, it's certainly short." After my hairdresser left: "You look older. About 10 years."
Oh NO! I wanted to channel Helen Mirren's beauty and style, but not her chronological age!I was a bit concerned but not overly as I figured there was still hope I could style it myself in a way that could put me back at my own age. So off to the shower I went. I was really hoping I would have some sort of hair-stylin' muscle memory...you know, from back in the day when I used curling irons and product...as opposed to the past two years, when I used only a hair clip and a blow dryer.
I producted (I think I just created a verb), I fluffed, I blow-dryed, I finger-styled, I tossed, I hairsprayed.
JD took one look, his eyes went wide and he said "Sassy! How'd you do THAT?"
"I sassified it" I said.
"You look like that girl in Sleepless in Seattle" he said, obviously pleased with the result.
The look I was going for was Helen Mirren but I wound up channeling Meg Ryan. I'll take it.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Post title taken from an article in Oxygen Magazine, and most recently clipped and taped onto my this year's Vision Board (obscured by my nifty new yellow melamine mixing bowl).
I staged a little photo shoot this morning, after I assembled my Vision Board, to become the picture for my first post of 2011.
Like I said in my previous post, I am a helluva starter. Today already I have cleaned up (and out) my spice cupboard in the kitchen. A little end cabinet that was piled to overflowing with some very old (probably older than my kids!) spices and duplicates of spices (half-empty baggies of ground cinnamon anyone?). Now it is tidy and organized (savoury on top shelf, sweet on lower) and I dumped a lot of stuff that was ancient or contained MSG or too chemical-ly for my liking (like artificial whatever extracts).
Then I made the above Board, out of an old bulletin board that we were not really using. I think this may become a new tradition for me, to create a vision board at the beginning of every new year. It was fun to do, though I hated cutting into my Oxygen magazines to do so. But it was a necessary action.
Then I cleaned the upstairs bathroom and, as usual, I had a revelation. (For some reason, I have my best thoughts when cleaning bathrooms....you'd think that would inspire me to clean more often but....you'd be wrong, unfortunately.)
My revelation was this:
Lately I've been thinking back on the days when I worked part-time and worked out almost every day and I've been saying I to myself that I had more control of my life and time then and would rue that I didn't have that much time and control in the present day.
But this morning's revelation was that I didn't have more control then. This was just a little bit of Mizz D mythology I was telling myself. If anything, I had less. I was at home, broke, with no car, a non-supportive spouse, and toddler and a baby to look after.
I was just making the best of the situation I was in at the time.
As I could do at any time of my life. Including NOW.
This is HUGE. A paradigm-shift of my thinking.
I am going to become audacious this year. Take the limits off of myself and see where I end up. If I could figure out how to get fit back then, I have no excuses for the present day anymore.
Keep me honest please. If you read anything in this blog in the coming year that sounds like an excuse, call me on it!