David Allen - my new guru?

On page 48 of Getting Things Done, so far...

Great little pull quote there:

"You have more to do than you can possibly do. You just need to feel good about your choices."

OH. MY. GODDESS.
You mean I not an abysmal failure for not being able to do it all? David...darling...where have you been all my life?

Can't wait to start feeling good about my choices rather than stressed about the people/things/tasks/stuff I am letting fall thru the cracks, by the wayside, off the wagon, into the ditch - pick your fave.

And let's not forget the stuff I forget. I want to feel good about that too. Uh, when I remember that I've forgotten, that is.

This mental foggery that I keep experiencing is gettin' old, along with yours truly. Somedays I am tempted to call the doc to see what can be done. But I am not sure right now if I am even in peri/full-blown mentalpause.

Remember the hot flashes I blogged about a month or so ago? Haven't had one since that time. So what the blue blazes was that all about, anyways?

Hey Body! Quit messing with my head. I mean it.

Too tired to post but will anyway...

And hopefully I won't regret this later.

Spent Fri/Sat/Sun a.m. in the big city with my female kidlet and someone I've been close friends with since grade 2 (we were besties in High School). For those of you who do math, that's about 40 some-odd years of friendship.

(Being the introvert I am, I don't have a lot of friends but those I have, I KEEP. So be warned, if I ever do call you a close friend, it's a life sentence.)

We shopped, we ate, we walked and walked and walked and walked. 15K on Saturday alone. I shudder to think of the kilometers we logged at the One of a Kind Show on Friday. I don't have the stats 'cos CJ wasn't wearing her pedometer then. Too bad. We saw a movie, The Blind Side. CJ and I let the Jemster pick it out. Good call. We all enjoyed it, even if it was formulaic. Then went back to CJ's condo after supper and continued the Sandra Bullock film festival (after decompressing in the hot tub) by watching The Proposal. Damn, that woman looks good! Sandra Bullock's trainer: CALL ME, OK?

I bought another book on Time Management (er...Action Management), Getting Things Done. Now to find time to read it. And apply it. So I don't spend any more glorious weekends like this wondering if I made a mistake by not cancelling and getting caught up at the office instead. I may have made a mistake but I won't regret it. Nope, not ever.

Return of the Prodigal Blogger

OK. So here I am, finally back on the blog.

Dear Blog,

I thought of you daily. Well, not daily, but at least every other day. Usually with a twinge of guilt.
Well, not a twinge, but actually a big whallop of guilt. This is sad.

To feel guilt about neglecting my own creation. After all, who do I report to on this? Ummm....Me. And as Me, I should cut Myself some slack for getting busy and stressed with work and other life committments. It happens.

However, as Me, I would like to remind Myself that when I get busy, I tend to forget my personal goals. They are the first to drop by the wayside. All. The. Time. Me says this is no way to treat Myself. Myself agrees.

Me would also like to add that writing on the blog is very good for Myself. Myself concurs. Me adds that Myself needs her writing practice much more than Myself knows. This is good for emotional and creative health, as well as for reinforcement and focus on Myself's goals.

So dear Blog, all 3 of us would like to apologize deeply for being away for so long. We are going to do better from now on.

Sincerely,

Me, Myself and I

'Cos I'm Hot then I'm Cold, I'm Yes then I'm No...

Yeppers....it is the dreaded mental-pause for sure.
Finally. I say finally because my younger sisters have been complaining of this stuff for years already, so I have been anticipating for quite a while now.

Hot flashes - experiencing about a half dozen or so a day. Very brief but very warm. Face flushes a bit and I get damp on my face and neck. Nothing like what I was expecting. From listening to my mom and grandmother I was expecting to SUFFER, BABY but so far it's not really that bad. I fervently hope though, that it gets no worse.

In a way, I've actually been feeling better since the hot flashes began. All summer I was kinda in a mental fog. Finding it hard to stay focused. A real lack of physical and mental energy. Lately though (the last couple of weeks, same time frame as the hot flashes), my energy levels have been quite good and I am mentally more alert and my focus is coming back.

This just lends more credence to my little pet hypothesis that menopause is a kind of reverse puberty with all the same horrors and hopefully, joys.

Think about it:

At the beginning of a female's fertility cycle, she resents the changes her body is going through, her emotions go haywire, and she thinks she is losing her mind.

Then she settles into her new "normal", and begins to actually enjoy this phase of her life.

Then she gets pregnant, resents the changes her body is going through, her emotions go haywire, and she thinks she is losing her mind.

At the end of her cycle, she once more resents the changes her body is going through, her emotions go haywire, and she thinks she is losing her mind, YET AGAIN.

Which means I should, at the end of this, come into a new "normal" - which I hope, pray, and suspect is going to be similar to the carefree, careless joys of pre-adolescent girlhood when you really didn't care at all about boys or what they or anybody else thought or expected of you, and you just went out and had lots of fun exploring the world!

The Week That Was

Never to be duplicated, I sincerely hope.
Started off with an infected tooth. Emergency visit to dentist. On antibiotics and painkillers, with a root canal scheduled for this coming Tuesday.

Then came my endoscopy procedure on Friday. Sedated completely with a camera and snipper thingy shoved down my throat. Remember the doc advising me to try not to belch. Came to during the procedure because I was belching loudly and incessantly and couldn't help myself. (Found out later that during this procedure they blow your tummy up with air so they can see stuff better - hell, no wonder I was belching like a 12 year old boy!!!) So sorry Doc, hope you got what you went in there for, despite my reptile brain trying to belch your equipment back out at you. Guess I'll find out in a week or so, when I see you again.

Then Friday night, recovering at home and finally able to stay awake for more than 20 minutes at a time (my goddess, what did they shoot me up with at the hospital???), I decide to start opening up my mail. Saw 5 weird transactions on my MasterCard bill. Just great. Someone has gotten my number somehow and is ripping me off. Bought themselves a cell phone from Fido, spent over $500 bucks at a salon (on what? It costs me $20 to get my hair cut), ate out several times at some Chinese eateries...in general, had themselves a good time committing fraud in my name.

The people at the credit card company were great though. They immediately shut down my card and are sending me a new one so hopefully that is the end of that.

The icing on the cake of The Week That Was is that I think I am finally experiencing some of those hot flashy thingies. Nothing too too dramatic. Just waves of heat coming over my body. If it doesn't get any worse than this, I can deal.

The Housework Game

Despite being genetically and culturally programmed to clean to a higher standard than a normal human being (I'm Dutch on both sides), I loath cleaning. I love a clean home, but I loath cleaning.

I loath the time it takes. I loath that it doesn't last for more than a few days (or hours, when the kids were little). I loath the time it takes from more interesting and productive pursuits - like knitting, cooking or watching Slice. (My vice IS Slice.) I loath that I am being judged on how clean my home is (or isn't). Did I mention I loath the time it takes?

But a clean home is so peaceful, so right, so comfortable, so welcoming, so...clean. So clean I must unless I can coerce someone else to do it for me. There was a time that I actually paid someone to clean my home. That lasted for a few short years back when the kids were teens. Now referred to as that time "Mizz D Was So Anemic She Could Have Died." Thankfully I didn't die, but IF I HAD DIED, AT LEAST MY HOUSE WOULD HAVE BEEN CLEAN. (And Dutch women everywhere can understand this sentiment. In fact next time I am going to Holland, I am going to check out the graveyards because I am sure there is a line on Dutch womens' tombstones that says something to the effect that they wish they had spent more time cleaning.)

So, blood iron levels restored (thanks to a hysterectomy and Floradix Formula), I have no more excuses for poor housekeeping (according to Dutch women everywhere) so I am coming up with ways to make it, shall we say, more sporting - and thus, hopefully more tolerable.

I came up with the Housework Game Version 2: "How much housework can I get done in an hour?" I can do anything for an hour, right? I set the stove clock and I'm off and running.

Today I managed to:

• vacuum the living room, TV room, kitchen, hallway, stairs, bedroom and upstairs bathroom
• clean upstairs bathroom
• wash kitchen floor

All with 2 minutes to spare on the clock.

Version 1 debuted a few years back - before I knew I was already a citizen of the foggy world of Anemia. It was called "How much housework can I get done before I finish this honkin' big glass of red wine?" The beauty of this game was that, by the time the glass was finished, I was ready to pour another and keep on cleanin'. Yeah, good times. By the time the house was sparkling, I was too.

Now I am an abstainer so I need to come up with other ways to get the house clean. Anybody out there got some good ideas to make housekeeping more palatable?

I think I found my Cake and Flowers...and maybe my Dress (style at least)

I saw the cover of this magazine in the grocery store and had to plunk down the 13 buckaroos for it. That is how strongly the picture of the cake affected me.

Although not enough not to alter it somewhat in my mind already, apparently - I see it draped with hydrangeas, not peonies.

Then today, I saw this book at Chapters. However, I did not buy it as I did with the magazine, having learned that I can probably find the cover photo online, which I did. This I love as a bouquet - well maybe not in its entirety, but I love the colour scheme and the droopy bits and the size of it. So picture this with hydrangeas sprinkled throughout somehow.
And last night on Say Yes to the Dress, I saw a dress that really intrigued me. Very simple, with straps and a bit of a train. No lace. It came blingless but the consultant wrapped a thin blingy belt around the empire waist and that sold me. This photo might be it, although it wasn't in satin on the show, more like crepe or something else non-shiny. Now to find something similar around here, that I could afford, as Kleinfeld's is too rich for this old broad's blood.

Sunday's Run/Walk/Hike Adventure

In my madness yesterday I decided to run/walk home from work....a 16 K commitment...from my workplace in the City to my home in the Village. (JD dropped me off at my work on the way to his work so I could get a few things done before the week officially started.)

Not only that, I decided to stop at the grocery store about a third of the way into my run to pick up a package of turkey Italian sausage to add to the Tuscan White Bean soup I had simmering away in the crock pot at home. Oh yeah, and I also picked up a Nivea for Men chapstick for my beloved, who is complaining of dry lips (what with all of his outdoorsy apprentice golf-pro-ing duties and all).

So picture this - a chunky, middle-aged woman jogging along the side of the country road in the blazing heat and sun, clutching her eco-friendly shopping bag (green in principle but black in reality). She is running too fast because she wants to get her raw meat home before it spoils...yeah, and did I mention this woman went to university and majored in MICROBIOLOGY, especially that of FOOD. Brilliant idea, that.

Anywho.....

She crosses the S River (the one that runs into the Village) at about the 8K mark (thank you, Garmin) and spies a sign that reads "S River Trail". Looks lovely, shady, cool, inviting. She goes for it! Leaves the dusty country road and decides to follow the river home to the Village, on a trail she's heard of but never been on before. Not exactly dressed for the trail - shorts and a t-shirt, but at least she's got her newish Asics trail runners on.

At first it was great. Our gal is loving this - the trail is indeed beautiful and cool, though she can tell it is barely used. Many branches and even whole trees lie across the narrow trail and the foliage is pretty dense. So she can't run at all - too dangerous - but she walks along quite briskly and is delighted with herself for taking this route, away from the hot asphalt and the speeding SUVs. She spies a great blue heron fishing in the river, as well as another dove-grey waterbird she has never seen before. Where is her camera when she needs it?!?!

At some points the trail is almost completely overgrown and our heroine is scanning the trees for blazes, feeling very adventurous indeed. She notices that she is really quite alone out here in the "wilds" between the City and the Village and wonders if there are any "wild things" about that might be attracted to her little package of raw meat. She remembers reading in the newspapers of a black bear sighting in the county a couple of years ago. She decides, if challenged by anything, she will throw the sausages in its general direction (after retrieving the brand new chapstick from the bag first of course) and run like hell. Yeah, that would be the plan. She continues on, still loving the trail and ruing her lack of camera.

She passes through some open areas where the weeds are quite high. She finds out that some of the weeds she has passed through (which looked naggingly familiar) are indeed, stinging nettle. She feels a little like Indiana Jones when she says to herself "Stinging Nettle. Why does it always have to be stinging nettle?!"

Her legs are getting scratched up, and the stinging nettle...er...stings, but that's OK. She's having the time of her life and wonders why she doesn't get out like this more often. She passes a large marsh, thick with bull rushes taller than herself and majestic skeletons of dead trees rising above them. Who knew all this beauty was right in her own backyard?

Then she loses the trail in a damp meadow and decides to break her own trail through the waist high grasses over to a patch of forest, away from the river. Woohoo! She is only a few feet into the woods when she catches sight of a reddish-orange blaze. Back on the trail! There is a beautiful little brook babbling away in these woods and someone has created a makeshift bridge across it. More blazes - fantastic. This part of the trail is like something out of C.S. Lewis's The Magician's Nephew. Our heroine thinks of the Wood between Worlds, where the toffee tree grew from a candy that fell out of someone's pocket. She thinks, just for a moment, about dropping a Werther's Original from her waist pack into the dark soil of the woods.

And that's when things get yucky. It gets muddier and muddier and finally our gal loses a shoe to the black stuff. OK - fun's over. Time to get the heck out of Dodge. She wrestles her beloved trail runner out of the sucking mud, slaps it back onto her now soaking foot (oh, her brand new running socks - ruined!!!!) and sees what looks to be a field or clearing up a slight hill. She carefully makes her way up to what she hopes is drier soil. But not carefully enough, as her other shoe slides toe-first and tongue-deep into the black stinking goo just as she is steps away from what she can now see as a soybean field. Just peachy!

She makes it onto the tractor trail of the soy field and realizes she is near the Townline Road that is the outer boundary of the Village. And begins following this trail along the edge of the field, stopping just once, to try a soybean, fresh from the pod. Hmmm...not bad.

More beauty - great clumps of Batchelor's Buttons, snapdragons, goldenrod. The low brush she is walking through is doing a commendable job of scraping the mud off of the shoes. Life is looking good again. She emerges from the field onto someone's driveway. Some people are partying in the back of a dilapidated house which is melded onto a barn. The home/barn owner, half in the bag, comes out to see the wild, scratched, mud and seed covered being clutching a little black shopping bag who has emerged from the field. "He made you walk, did he?" he offers in greeting. "Just walking home from the City by way of the S River Trail" she replies. This startles the party animal, who shouts back to his friends "She says she WALKED from the City!!!" A few more pleasantries are exchanged, and our fearless female gets onto the road and walks/runs the last few K back home.

Three and a half hours after she started her adventure, she leaves her disgusting shoes and socks outside her front door, puts the still OK (she hopes) sausage into the crockpot with the bubbling soup and heads into the bathroom for a much needed shower.

What ever shall I do to top this next week?

In the Embryonic Stages of Menu Planning

OK, so I am tired of coming home in the evening, staring at the cupboards and the fridge and going "Now what?"

Menu planning is obviously the answer.

I love to cook. Like most things I love to do, I seldom allow myself the time to do it. (Gardening, running, painting, and knitting are just a few of the things that come immediately to mind here). But I am trying to change all that. And trying to eat healthier too, so menu planning is just the ticket.

In planning to plan (how's that for dragging it out?), I am trying to come up with themes for each night of the week, to inspire and guide me in what recipes I want to make/try for the first time.

So far, this is what I've got:

Meatless Mondays
? Tuesdays
? Wednesdays
? Thursdays
Fishy Fridays
Souper Saturdays
Slow-Cooker Sundays

The middle of the week has got me baffled so far.
'Talian Tuesdays?
One-pot Wednesdays? (Hey, I kinda like this one.)
Thai Thursdays?

I'll keep thinking.

Re-Vamped

Last week I saw a show on Slice that has piqued my interest:
http://www.slice.ca/Shows/ShowsPage.aspx?Title_ID=240165

It's a reality show, transformation-style. Get together a bunch of women who have recently had their hearts broken savagely and stick them in a resort for 6 weeks with a bunch of experts to give them their mojo back. At the end of it all, they put on a burlesque show with their newly made-over fine selves, in front of their families and friends....and their exes!?!

I get the whole revenge aspect. Who hasn't wanted to meet with someone who dissed them, or overlooked them, or crushed them, on a day when all the planets align and you LOOK, FEEL, ARE spectacular, at the top of your game? Wearing your most kick-a** shoes, a killer outfit, hair and makeup perfect (for once). It's a wonderful little fantasy.

The Ex aspect though, not sure how I feel about that part of the show yet.

I am torn between the part of me that says: Yeah, show him what a doofus he was for dumping you! Sour grapes buddy - you can't have her now! Look at what you're missing, what you couldn't see, that was there all along: a vibrant, sexy, confident woman!!!!

And the part of me that says: whoa....doesn't this lock these women in with their exes for another 6 weeks at least, instead of them moving forward with their lives??? And I really hope the motivation for these ladies is to look and feel great for their own sakes....not just completion of the "looking this hot is the best revenge I can inflict on you" scenario.

The burlesque expert on the show intrigues me as well. Being a belly dance fan, I am also finding myself becoming a fan of burlesque costumes and dance (although I admit I know almost nothing about the art. It's not stripping or pole dancing - that much I know). She dresses like a 40's pinup (very cool!) and made a comment on the show that has stuck with me all week:

"Sexy is not comfortable"...meaning you have to work consciously at it all the time when performing! Something I think about when practicing belly dance. Reminding me to engage all of my muscles to execute the moves properly.

I am hooked. And I am going to keep on watching.

I survived the 4 Day Jumpstart, barely

I managed to get thru the 4 day anti-bloat jumpstart and I'd better not EVER do that again!

Wow - was it tough! I can't believe I used to eat a 1200 cal/day diet when on Weight Watchers many years ago. No wonder it messed me up and made me totally preoccupied with food. 1200 cal is not enough to get a person thru the day without hunger, headache, light-headedness. I felt weak most of the time too.

This experience made me think about all those people on the planet who just don't get enough to eat on a daily basis, involuntarily. I promise to never let an opportunity to donate to the local food bank slip by me.

Anywho..... Day 3 was tough and Day 4 was super tough. It didn't help that we were having a major crisis at work and I ended up putting in a 13 hour day on Day 4 (yesterday). I didn't have any food left to eat and my staff person needed supper too so she suggested pizza. I ordered that sucker in and had 3 small pieces and thus regained some kind of sanity and stamina.

This probably affected my stats somewhat at the end of the jumpstart, but here they are and I am pleased nonetheless:

Weight - lost 1.4 lbs.
Waist - down 1"
Lower Abdomen - down 2"

Interesting how I lost so many inches in just 4 days, in my belly region. I can see it too. Yay! I didn't take any other measurements though. Perhaps I should have?

Not bad for 4 days work, but not worth doing again, ever. It was an interesting experiment and I am glad I tried it. I learned I DO have the discipline required to alter my diet in order to lose weight. Today I am on the full Flat Belly Diet and loving it so far.

My plan is to start wedding dress shopping in the New Year with a New Bod. Oh yeah.

The Flat Belly Objective

Tomorrow JD and I are starting the 4 Day Anti-Bloat Jumpstart to the Flat Belly Diet. I bought the book (and the cookbook - amazing recipes!) after reviewing a copy at the Village Library. And I am a wee bit scared and exhilarated at the same time. The first 4 days are very restrictive, which I am not good at....but it's only 4 days.

JD has had a fabulous spring and summer, weight-wise. He's lost about 35 pounds. But still has a bit of a belly, hence his interest in the Flat Belly plan, besides being supportive of me. He is looking lean and yummy!

Me, well...I've stayed up and down within the same 5 or so pounds. I am eating healthier, but obviously still too much and I need to be more active. Since JD switched careers (desk job to apprentice golf pro), his activity levels have increased significantly and the weight has just melted off, even though he eats 4 times what I do. Men!

I got interested in the Flat Belly Diet because the food is stuff I love already, it looks easy, and it's heart-healthy - always a priority with my genetics. Lots of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean meats and the MUFAs: olives, nuts, seeds, avocados, chocolate...to name a few.

I never had a real belly problem until a few years ago, pregnancies excepted. I used to put on weight on my hips and legs and butt mostly, but now I am getting thick in the middle, which I know is the most dangerous place, health-wise, to put on fat.

Yesterday's LSD

The title of this blog post reminds me of a joke we used to tell when we were kids. Tim Horton was a professional hockey player, who died in a car crash in 1974, but not before starting a highly successful chain of coffee and doughnut shops that still bear his name today.

Kid A: Did you hear that when Tim Horton died, the police found LSD in his car?
Kid B: NO! Really?
Kid A: Yeah, the back seat was filled with Last Saturday's Doughnuts.

Anyhoo.....

My LSD stands for Long Slow Distance run. Yesterday I was hoping for 12 K, but only managed 7.5. Reasons: out-of-shape mainly, but also because it was STINKIN' HOT (I ran in the afternoon as I didn't have time to run in the morning). And an alarming new development - every time I did my requisite 3 minutes of running (I run 3 minutes, walk 2 minutes, routinely), my stomach and esophagus just started burning - very uncomfortable.

I've been having issues with acid reflux since the spring and am going for an endoscopy later on this month to check things out. Let's hope this episode was a one-of.

Other than the heat (external and internal), it was a lovely run along the Toogood Trail in Unionville and reminded me of all the things I love about this time of year.

I love Queen Annes' Lace, above. I love fields of goldenrod and milkweed, and seeing teasels in flower, below:


Canada Geese, Running through the Marsh:

Wild Purple Asters against Goldenrod, White Asters and Red Leaves:

I think this is called Joe-Pye Weed. I love it and want it for my garden someday:

Wild Cucumber, White Berries on Red Stems:

Mr. and Mrs. Mallard and a lovely little turtle:

More Mallards, paddling in the shade of a willow, and a Great Blue Heron:

Toogood Pond Trail:

The Bride's Book of Lists

A dear friend gifted me with this lovely book, by Amy Nebens.

Last night I took a really good look at it and have pronounced it fabulous and my new bible. As per the title, it is FULL of lists. And those lists will guide me (I want to write us, but I know who is going to be doing the bulk of this. JD's schedule is so hectic I'll be happy if he shows up to the nuptials on time!) as to what we (pretty much me, see above) want this wedding to be. As I read through the lists I am coming across things I hadn't yet considered and want/need to...like music, vows, receiving line!

In addition to checklists (and tons of ideas and advice (e.g. Bridal salons require appointments. Who knew?), the book has pockets for clippings and a plastic page to insert business cards into. And a handy elastic ribbon to hold the whole thing shut once it becomes crammed with the above. Neat!

Mizz Nebens used to work for Martha Stewart Weddings. Is this a magazine or a book? Sigh. I have so much to learn about getting married!

Let the internet research begin!

Ever since Future SIL mentioned the wedding shower thing, I have been somewhat consumed with real thoughts about the wedding. I mean, real honest-to-goddess thoughts about how to make this thing happen. As opposed to all last year when I just gazed at my ring and thought fluffy, floaty little daydreams about getting married.

And it is slowly dawning on me that there is a bazillion things to plan and decide, even for our intimate little affair. You'd think, having done it once before, that none of this would be a revelation for me. But you'd be wrong. It's been almost 3 decades since I last walked the aisle in a white dress and it might as well have happened to another person...that is how much I have changed since then. And how little I remember of the planning process.

I do remember that my mom and dad were quite involved - natch, since they were paying. And that I was pretty easy going about everything. That we made a lot of the stuff ourselves - the cake, my dress, bridesmaid dresses. That I wouldn't buy a pair of shoes that I loved because, at $65, they were going to cost more than my dress, and I thought that was a ridiculous price to pay for shoes period, let alone ones I would wear only once. I also remember that the cost of the meal and the open bar at our reception came to $1800, and I was aghast at the $ my parents had to shell out. (I think we had 50 to dinner and 80 in total at the dance.)

Something tells me things may be a wee bit different this time around...

What's staying the same is this. I still want the wedding to be very personal and with a lot of homemade touches. I won't be making my own dress this time around nor will I blink at shoe prices. I also still love things to be real. So real flowers it is, and a real wedding cake. Though, I don't see myself baking it this time. Last time it was an old-fashioned fruit cake (which I actually love to eat...I know. Weird.) and it turned out beautifully because my Maid of Honour's mother had taken a cake decorating course and she iced it perfectly, so capturing my design of cascading icing flowers in my colours of pink and blue.

Colours! Flowers! The Dress! The hair! Will I have a MOH this time?! If so, who will it be? Who will walk me down the aisle since my dad has passed away? Or will I walk down it alone? Will we have a dance? Sit down or buffet dinner? Have I missed anyone on the intimate little guest list we have drafted so far? Invitations! Favours! Honeymoon! Photographer!

We had originally thought of going away to a resort/spa type place for our wedding, about an hour away - one of those one-stop-shops - marry in the garden, take pictures there, private room for reception, stay the night - quite an elegant country inn with fabulous scenery and food - but the wedding coordinator there was cold, and that put us off and then we started thinking about our elderly guests and their comfort, and we decided to keep it much simpler and closer to home for everybody.

It won't be a church wedding this time. We are going to get married in the historic building we own downtown, with a hired gun...er...I mean preacher. Who we have to find yet. We want to have pics taken across the river downtown, the site of a lot of our courtin' (and first kiss!). I'll probably have my hair and makeup done at the downtown salon. And have the reception at the local hotel. The flowers and decorating - I will ask our tenant - a florist who specializes in not just flowers, but complete wedding decor including linens, chair covers, lights etc. - how appropriate is that? So the nascent theme of this shindig seems to be turning into A Wedding in the Village: Keepin' it real, keepin' it local. Which just seems right, given my place as a Board Member, for the Village Business Improvement Association.

So, some things are fleshed out and the researching for all the other things to decide upon is beginning.

This is the first day of the next year of my life...

...which is, of course true for every day. However today IS special. This day next year I will be getting married (for the second time) to the mate of my heart and soul (for the first time). We've been a couple for seven years now (engaged for one), and he still makes me sigh...and not always with exasperation either.

My future sister-in-law emailed me today to ask my permission if she could host a shower for me next spring or summer. What?! Oh my goddess, that's right - I am a bride-to-be. At first I thought: Wow, that's nice! She remembered it is 1 year to the wedding today! Then I thought: Oh, wait. A wedding shower - for someone this old and on her second round? I don't know...it feels weird. Do people do that?

And then I remembered my mom having a wedding shower thrown for her when she married again after my dad passed away, when SHE WAS 63 YEARS OLD. Hey, I guess people DO do that sort of thing - I guess I can too. And SIL-to-be loves throwing a "do" and she's very good at it too, so I am kinda looking forward to this.

There's a lot I want to get done this next year. Some of it I should be doing anyway - and getting married is a lovely impetus, is it not? I am thinking, naturally, of losing weight and getting in shape. Been talkin' about losing 30-40 pounds now for about 4-5 years and been giving it a half-hearted effort, with the subsequent half-hearted results. I lose 5-10 pounds, then life gets in the way (don't it always?) and I lose focus and back they come on again.

I have very valid health reasons to do so, not just to look good in that special dress (which I haven't picked out yet). Heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and stroke have already affected my younger sisters. I seem to have won the genetic lottery (in my family) so far, but my doc and cardiologist are in wait-n-see mode. So, I believe it's in me, and I also believe I can avoid or delay it coming out by lifestyle modifications.

Other goals:

Belly Dance - I want to become a better belly dancer this year. This means I am taking the route to Carnegie Hall....practice, practice, practice. In fact today I was practicing my 3/4 shimmy at work while waiting for a timer to go off during a DNA extraction procedure. Thankfully no one entered the lab at the time and thus I avoided hideously embarrassing myself.

Running - I had a goal of running a full-marathon during my 50th year however, since I haven't lost the weight yet, that goal is looking not so good. I have run a couple of half-marathons, disgustingly slow due to injury or inadequate training (see Life Gets in the Way, Lack of Focus, above) and vowed not to do the full unless in much better/lighter shape. So I think I need to re-evaluate my running goals for this year. More on that later.

De-Clutter - Part of the upcoming co-mingling involves moving from my abode to his. Also renovations and such, but that may be part of The Next Year of My Life: the Post-Wedding Year. I've been in this place now for 9 years and that, my friends, means I have accumulated a pile of unnecessary crap. So I plan a room-by-room, show-no-mercy assault on the house. Should be a heck of a garage sale this spring if all goes according to plan.

I think I'll stop here. I have a tendency to over-reach, become too scattered, too diluted, take on too many projects etc. End result: Lack of focus, thus no goals met. I am by nature a "dabbler", not a "digger" (thanks Dr. Eydt - I still remember you telling me this and it's still true today), which means I am not programmed to pursue something single-mindedly for any huge length of time. I also remember my esteemed prof telling me not to despair, for "though the diggers get the Nobel Prizes, the dabblers have all the fun".

So - this is one dabbler who is determined to have a fun year leading up to her nuptials, AND meet her goals at the same time.